MOST PEOPLE GET FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES OR WINE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
I GOT A PUPPY ON THE 14th February, 2014 !!!

My name is Tyler Valentine and I’ve been here a year.
It seems I am a cute puppy, who fills Mum’s heart with fear.
They said that I was faulty, because I could not see,
I don’t know what the problem is, it does not bother me!

They sent me off to Derby, my mum was horrified,
to learn I’m very special, genetically modified.
There are bits of me still missing, or not where they should be.
I wish mum would not worry, it does not bother me.

I’ve got four legs to run around and nothing slows me down,
You want to see me strut my stuff when we wander round the town.
Mum thought she would get chocolates, laid out in a box.
Instead she got a puppy, who steals and eats her socks!
They put me in a crate to sleep, the night that I arrived,
I did not like being shut in there so I stood up and cried,
Dad came down to shut me up, he came to show he cared.
He scooped me up and cuddled me and carried me upstairs.
He lay me gently on his bed and said “Now go to sleep”
But I had lots of things to do, so busy I could weep.

I tore the paper off the walls, I chased poor Tammy cat.
But when I cleaned the toilet, he was having none of that!
There is not time to go to sleep when there are things to do,
why you humans go to bed, I have not got a clue.
I want to go outside and play, listen to the birds.
But everyone has gone to bed, you humans are absurd!
It did not take me long at all to sit and look so cute,
I do not care what I do wrong, my life is one big hoot.

Mum bought me special puppy food, but I would not eat that,
To me it tastes like rubber so I left it for the cat.
Dad fetched a brand new bed for me, that was a waste of time.
Just let me sleep wherever, I promise I’ll be fine.
A chair, the floor, the downstairs loo, that’s where I need to be

Who dug that hole into the wall? I swear it was not me!
Who ate all the toilet rolls? Not guilty was my plea.
Ok, Ok, I shredded them, Oh well, I can not see!
Who opened all the cat food up? Blame Tammy cat for that
Or maybe it was Buddy, trying to help the cat?

My life is full of mischief, laughter, games and fun.
And I intend to hang around, till all my jobs are done.
I make mum laugh, I make her cry, I know that she loves me,
So who needs chocolate, wine or flowers, when mummy has got me?

My heart’s too big, my brain’s too small, my eyes they do not see,
but I am oh so flipping cute that everyone loves me!!
So please enjoy your Valentines, despite all the above.
The day I came to Brassington I filled mum’s life with LOVE!

Pauline Bradbury. 14/2/2015.