BUDDY’S DIET

Hello, my name is Buddy, I once was Dynasty,
but my mum decided that name was not for me.
She changed my name to Buddy because that is what I am
I’m mums best friend, rolled into one
I’m gentle as a lamb.

Today mum has gone shopping to get some food for me
I hope that she remembers that I love Dairylea!
On Sundays we have roast beef a nice thick slice for me
And if there’s ever any left I get some more for tea!.

I know I should eat dog meat but have you tried that stuff?
I’m sure if humans ate it they would soon feel very rough.
I don’t eat doggy biscuits they are too hard for me.
But I am really partial to biscuits dunked in tea.

I used to love my butchers all mixed up with tripe
But now they’ve started mixing it with vegetables and rice
It’s Weetabix for breakfast made with nice warm milk
As it slides in to my tummy it tastes just like pure silk

Mum buys tuna for the cats and puts some in my meat
When I hear the tin opener I’m soon up on my feet
I never miss a meal time no matter where I am
I know what’s on the menu today it’s fresh roast ham.

When mum goes in the freezer It’s sausages for tea
Three for mum and three for dad but only one for me.
Mum sometimes makes a nice beef stew I’m not too keen on that
I gobble up the meaty bits, but leave veggies for the cat

I empty both the cat bowls but they must not touch mine
And if I ever catch them I push them in to line
When mum has a day off work I put her on a lead
And drag her round the fields to burn off calories

.I’ve just heard daddy say a word I’d better just be quiet
Maybe I have just misheard but I’m sure he just said diet!!!!
Is diet meat or vegetable? Is that what is for tea.
You two can have the diet but mum please feed Me.?

All this food is good for me
Coz I’m a growing lad
And now I’m in such fine health
My diet can’t be bad!!

Pauline Bradbury.